Good morning,
How are you today? When the sun comes, even on a
cloudy day, I feel hopeful. The day holds promise. Some days like today are
days for getting things done. I have bills to pay and things to do.
Living alone in the country without television my
energy aura is less contaminated by the negativity of others. After a lifetime surrounded by people and
their energy flow I now find myself surprised when I encounter someone in a
raging bitch of a mood.
Finally, I’m able to distance myself and not be caught
up in the feeling. For me that’s huge! A childhood filled with fear and terror
of parents doling out whippings and disapproval as if that child were Satan
incarnate fills one with rage.
For forty-five years my loving husband, Kirt,
filled that black hole. When he died I thought I couldn’t live without his
love. In the three years since his passing I’ve learned to hold tightly to his
love in my heart, be strong and peaceful. That’s no small feat for a woman, who
has struggled to cap the rage, while attempting to project the love she wanted
to embrace with varying degrees of success.
The rage monster in me recognizes itself in others
instantly. I no longer wish to beat their beasts into submission with my own
ferocity; that’s progress, but I’m still susceptible to energy contamination.
That’s a mission along with many others such as patience and respect. I’m a
continuing work, so I have hope.
Does anyone understand how this feels? I could be just fecking nuts. J
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