My stomach is doing strange things. A curse of vague symptoms is ruling my life. My SUV makes strange little noises, which make me crazy and then something breaks. It’s fixed, so then I think it’s over, problem solved, only to have the basic noise begin gain, a tiny whir, a constant reminder that something’s not right, how ironic, a perfect metaphor for my life.
Some “truths” hit you like turning on a bright light; others are like the slow light of dawn. Some of my greatest ah-ha moments were at that time of day. They all led me to now.
I believe that every life has meaning, and is meant to be enjoyed. My niece once told me to begin writing a new book. In the instant I knew my love story had ended, no more anything. . .
My guy gone for the rest of my life, that’s a new reality I can’t embrace; acceptance, well, there’s no choice. My niece, Rachel, was right I need to begin a new book, which I’ll call, “Life After Honey”.
After forty-five years of us and we, a party of one; how do you make that fun? It can be done. I see it happening all the time. It’s a skill set I’ve yet to cultivate. When I’m not busy lamenting what I’ve lost, life’s abundant moments enchant like my island. Thank you, God, for all you’ve given me; I am not blind to it, in spite of my behavior.
My head hurts; grieving, the pain, the suffering just really freaking sucks. You can apply all the positive attitude, religion, even meditation and this still is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Even women who didn’t have a sweet, loving guy are lost. I have to learn how to put my honey, my loss on the side, so I focus on what my life will become now; whatever that is.
Good luck to me and anyone else in this boat. God bless us, please.