Thursday, November 28, 2013

First Thanksgiving in Widow Land

My Darling, I missed you so today! Thanksgiving dinner without you, I can tell you it felt strange to be with people, but not you. After forty-five holidays with you I carried you in my heart today. We enjoyed the day. I worried that I’d break down, missing you. I cried thinking about it, but today I just lived the day as it came.
Tonight as twilight dwindled, I sat on the balcony thinking about how we loved the view of the ocean at dusk. I smiled as I lingered over a lifetime of sunsets with my best guy. Remembering how much you love me made me smile. The ache I usually feel from missing you didn’t grab me. I felt grateful for my life with you without the searing pain, a first.
My hosts, people whose company we’ve enjoyed a handful of times, were as charming as ever. My dear hostess prepared a feast for the holiday. The table display deserved a magazine cover. Did I tell you the food was good? Yum.
The two other dinner guests rounded out the table nicely with friendly conversation. My first holiday dinner without you didn’t totally suck; it was nice. I had a good time, and then our crazy lady bud, Adri arrived. I had somebody I love a bunch in the house. Before long it was time to go home. I lived through one of those bench mark days I’ve been dreading.
For all the tears and fears the pre holiday anticipation generated Thanksgiving couldn’t have been better, unless of course, you were here. I’m so stuffed.

Thanks God, for my friends, you place the best people in my life. And thanks for all the years with a great guy who loved me more than I could possibly have deserved.  

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