Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hola Pablo Happy Birthday

In too many conversations I tell you how much you remind me of my brother, then you get an earful of what I don't like about my brother. Twice now my mouth has had a will of its own blurting out all these toads. Lo siento mucho, my dear one, you do remind me of my brother in so many good ways.

My brother is a tall handsome dark haired man; his wit is quick and smart. It’s fun when he isn’t shaming or making fun of someone.

We had each other for safety when we were little. I looked out for him to a fault. He loved to needle me; he was a typical baby brother. Our best times were in the dark of evening, we would lie on the floor listening to ghost stories by “Morgus, the Magnificent”. Our heads were inches away from a transistor radio an uncle gave me.

Like you my brother is capable of intelligent, insightful conversation. Sometimes when talking with you I remember what it once was like when my brother and I talked.

It must be said; I have a much better time talking to you. You can be a little smart ass that just keeps you spicy. You listen as well as share.

My brother’s women would always tell me how they LOVE my brother. It is like déjà vu hearing Pablo’s ladies tell me how they LOVE him and want to marry him.

My brother lost his way when he lost his respect for those who loved him and spoiled him.

I missed having a good looking younger man in my life, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

God Will Slow Your Butt Down

Today I just feel like loony loose in the world.  There should be a capacity over load immanent warning sign on my  ass. 
I have tons of keeping the farm kind of work to do; writing is an obsession and I'm on a crusade. 
How do you keep balance in your life? Am I obsessive-compulsive or highly motivated?
Today I felt crazy out of control. At 2 pm I promised to be and intended to be in a courthouse in Lares, Puerto Rico. The mountain roads are beautiful driving, so no problem. Oh, we must stop at the bank first, just a little detour; not.
Eating lunch in the car to make it on time, when the sky opens up with the biggest gusher. It was like driving in a car wash. Usually I push on through anything, but today my Angel told me to pull over., just then where we would have been was a tree and the electric line. We would have been there!
The trial of the 100 dogs in Lares went on without us. We celebrated being alive and unharmed with the rest of our sandwiches while we watched the police reroute traffic. 
I'll be back to work next week, mean while who wants to help spay about 200,000 bitches?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Make It A Good One

A big birthday bash is all well and dandy, but a good bit of annual introspection is a horse of another color.
My husband has figured out the best birthday present in the whole world for me, slave for the day. I like it.
Time for introspection used to be a blue time; it's not exactly rainbow lollipops but it's not a red hot pain in my rear either; enough, ok.
My one good girl friend from here called to wish me a happy day. She is a great lady in any crowd; I love her dearly.
For many years my family was the focus of my love and devotion. Every member of my immediate family has lived with us a year or more.
My husband has been a doll enduring my family. All praise to my most tolerant honey.
For years my effort brought the family together on holidays and in between. After years of doing the whole shot for everybody to the tune of this is what's wrong with it.
 Whoaa! If I am going to be cranky for an hour after I talk to you, maybe, I don't talk to you so much is a good answer. 
Yah know what; I still love them and wish them well. Family, please know I am having a great birthday in Puerto Rico. Thanks, for all your good wishes; gotta go.

And The Winner Is

Tonight was to be a night of celebrating: the water company has finally capped the gusher, we have water pressure; I got my badge and it's my birthday.

A good friend invited us over for the evening. We haven't seen him but once since we got back to Puerto Rico. This man is loads of fun, the kind of guy, who once he knows what makes you laugh gets you going till your jaws ache.

My girlfriend and Colonel Shit Face have been invited as well; her usually quick wit plays well with our host. This gathering promises to be fun.

Colonel Shit Face has a way with life stories told with the body language emphasis of the raised brow and the knowing gaze, tall tales from an amber Scotch haze will totally amaze. Until she is ready to hear the truth, denial will rule, so why not party?

How disappointed I was when she called to tell me that the colonel was crunching some numbers and they would be late! “Honey, can’t he do that tomorrow? It’s my birthday, let’s celebrate.” I cajoled her. “Oh, no, he’s running a program to come up with the winning lottery numbers!” she said with sincerity. He’s doing what??

He’s quite a guy, so I shut my mouth; who knows tomorrow I may need to borrow a million. By gosh, now I know what it means to smile a shit eating grin.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Who Is more Screwed Up Than Me?

Why is it always easier to see your friend's problems than your own? Why are we hell bound to our own destruction?

I don't understand why I've limited my life the ways I have. Even more baffling is why my good friend always picks bad guys. She's a smart, talented lady who has everything except a steady guy.

No, that's not true, she has a new man she's known for six months living in her house. The man tells her he is going to add a second story to her house, but he doesn't replace the burned out hot water heater. Yeah, that's right they are taking cold showers. He tells her how much money he has, but it's all tied up. The government won't let him access his money.

He drives a convertible BMW, but for six months it's been making its way home. You know how these things go, maybe tomorrow.

This guy is an incredible catch; she's so lucky to have him. He is a colonel in the marines for which he was a pilot, a deep sea diver. He worked for the CIA and was in the Reagan white house working with Oliver North, yet he stands in line with the privates at the VA hospital for treatment.

Just when I think I am the most screwed up woman in the world; I realize, no, I hang around with her. God, she is one of my best friends. What slays me is that no one can tell her. She wants a man in her life so badly, that anyone who tries to tell her is immediately excommunicated from her life. So I shut my mouth and wait for the train wreck.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Balance & Boundaries

Memorial Day was  great for catching up with friends. We ate, talked and laughed.
We got to visit with a friend we haven't seen in a couple of years. She looked rested, at peace. This is one together lady on a bad day, but still I noticed a change.
Effortless control is a sweet spot for one's life. Heaven knows it has eluded me. Control in my life comes at the mega cost of energy and stress. Passions take your mind off what's wrong in your own life and that's very good, but an aura of contentment, wow, I had to find out more.
Like me, this lady works hard; she is always busy. This to be sure is reality for most of us, when you're not busy woking; there are the demands of loved ones. Do this for me, help me with that, spend time with me; we do it because they are loved ones.
The demands on our time has been a regular conversation for us or rather a regular gripe session, so when she gently said, " I've just had to set my boundaries." I just looked at her. How do you get to where you can say that gently?
I am too stupid to set a boundary until pushed far enough the end of the rope is at hand and I'm angry, certainly this comes with my family history. That's not an excuse, I must get over that.
When she told me about her mom demanding she see  her every day, she told her mother, "You have a son, get him to visit you." with no resentment in her voice. That was the part that was so different.
There is a balance that comes with self respect, boundaries are set because they belong there; not because we need them for self preservation. Holy, that has got to be a really sweet spot!!