Balance & Boundaries

Memorial Day was  great for catching up with friends. We ate, talked and laughed.
We got to visit with a friend we haven't seen in a couple of years. She looked rested, at peace. This is one together lady on a bad day, but still I noticed a change.
Effortless control is a sweet spot for one's life. Heaven knows it has eluded me. Control in my life comes at the mega cost of energy and stress. Passions take your mind off what's wrong in your own life and that's very good, but an aura of contentment, wow, I had to find out more.
Like me, this lady works hard; she is always busy. This to be sure is reality for most of us, when you're not busy woking; there are the demands of loved ones. Do this for me, help me with that, spend time with me; we do it because they are loved ones.
The demands on our time has been a regular conversation for us or rather a regular gripe session, so when she gently said, " I've just had to set my boundaries." I just looked at her. How do you get to where you can say that gently?
I am too stupid to set a boundary until pushed far enough the end of the rope is at hand and I'm angry, certainly this comes with my family history. That's not an excuse, I must get over that.
When she told me about her mom demanding she see  her every day, she told her mother, "You have a son, get him to visit you." with no resentment in her voice. That was the part that was so different.
There is a balance that comes with self respect, boundaries are set because they belong there; not because we need them for self preservation. Holy, that has got to be a really sweet spot!!