How Lucky Is This?

My husband is a sweet easy going guy, who mostly has no problem with what I want to do. Life is pretty much whatever I want to do next, as long as we can afford it.
Where do I want to go eat? Where do I want to go on vacation?
The choice and responsibility is always mine. He complains about it sometimes, but I am always on one quest or another, so that seems fair.
I told him I wanted to go to Russia to see the dogs that take the trains, all he said was, "How are you going to pay for it?"
Does he have any interest in going to Russia? No. If I get to go, he'll be there with me.
That makes me so lucky. I know that.
The flip side is he takes no active participation in our lives; that's my job. He is along for the ride in his own words. I get resentful when he snipes; I don't want to hear it.
I don't think I would mind doing something he likes, but that's never an issue. There's that part of me that says don't complain; suppose he wanted to do something you really hate.
He's made me feel safe, since I met him. I know he loves me. Don't I sound like the fool for complaining?
My birthday is soon. He has never bought me a birthday present. Hell, he never remembers my birthday. Sometimes he buys me an anniversary card.
After a missed birthday, I've made him give me his credit card and gone into a jewelry store to buy something more expensive than I should hoping next time he'd just buy flowers. Oh, no same thing happened the next year.
I've been pissy with him for two weeks already; my birthday isn't for another week. History tells me that my birthday is just another day to him.
 In recent years I've taken to mentioning my day in advance; jog his memory, no luck there. This drives me nuts; it's like I am not worth effort.
Don't think I haven't told him how I feel. He tells me that he's sorry it bothers me. He has also said things like, "I don't know what to say to you." Huh??
I'm getting tired of being in charge of our lives, but I can deal with that. All I want is for the man to go out of his way for me two times a year Christmas and my birthday.
He'll "let me have my way", but he won't go out of his way.
I know you're supposed to take people as they are; why is this so hard???