Heartache, heartbreak, the pain
grabs me by the scruff and gives me a good shake. Some days focus comes my way,
but not today. Overcome by sorrow, my tears flow.
My Honey, I miss you so. Is this my
purgatory? Is this my hell or just the dark night of my soul? For such a smart
youngster, I’ve become the dull oldster. I no longer know anything. Your quiet
strength gave me such confidence, and I thought it was me, silly.
I thought I knew who you were in my
life. I thought I was the strong one; wrong, again. You gave me so much more
than I ever knew; thank you, thank you. We were so good together; I learned the
value of love with you. Safe and
comfortable in your heart and arms, I felt sheltered. With every fiber of my
being, I miss that feeling.
Are we really spiritual beings on a
physical vacation? Are you home and happy? You keep sending fireflies into the
bedroom! That’s so cool. I know it’s you. It’s too weird to be anything else.
One of your purposes in life was to
be with me, thanks; we made the best of everything, becoming better people in
the process.
Thanks to you, I see the good and
God has responded by putting enough good in my life to trip over.
When I was young, I believed that
bad luck is what God doled out; good luck is what you made for yourself, which
served me well for some years, but I hated to look at God like that.
Pain, hah, pain is the frienemy of
growth. After a comfortable relationship with God and my husband, I feel the crushing
loss of both.
Re-constructing these
relationships, my growth challenge has me hurting today, but if I am a
spiritual being, I suppose, I’d better act like it. Good luck with that. ;)
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