I joined a Widow/Widower online
support group. I’m a handbook kind of person. Other people’s posts helped; some
were interesting, others were so sad. Reading about other people’s pain helped.
I don’t like the idea of misery loves company, but their painful stories
somehow normalized mine. Can this make sense?
To say I experience the dark night
of the soul after Kirt’s death would not be an exaggeration. My faith, my love
of God was completely challenged. People asked if I was angry with my husband
for leaving me, no, I was angry with God for taking him.
Then came the bargaining, God, I
would have traded half the life I have left to die at the same time. You know I
would! I’m a person who prays, talks to God regularly, so to have my primary
relationships disrupted was overwhelming.
The support group may be a bridge
to a normal life again; whatever my new normal will become. We all handle
things in our own way with our own style and grace. Reading these stories gave
me a snippet of peace.
Telling a widow of three days that
in time it does get better little by little or as we say here, poco a poco and
knowing it to be true felt good.
Tears flowed again, but this time I
felt a touch of relief when I stopped.
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