Open Letter to My Niece

To my niece,

I am so glad that you write to me. I think we’re having a hard time of it. You must miss Tim and I know I miss Kirt. If I don’t constantly push myself to go out, to be social; I won’t.

The old lady rocking on the porch holds a lifetime of limits in her lap. We’re the common folk of the planet, not children of the rich or famous. The struggles of our lives are written in our bodies.

Your Uncle Kirt used to say, “Every time I see a can of Bush Beans my knees hurt.” Did your mom pick for them? I thought she did. Kirt had a special way about him; his sister adored him, and he her. I didn’t see your mom a real lot, but there was always an easy way between us, when we did.

You were twelve when you first stood out to me. I thought you were smart and had beautiful penmanship; tall and thin with long blonde hair didn’t hurt either.

When I think about my life there’s two ways I can go on it, first, the way I grew up thinking about things, which is I could have done more, had more, been more, in short, what was wrong with it. Mostly, I am just tickled at what a great life I’ve had, hard as shit but worth everyday.

On the porch is not bad or sitting under a tree contemplating passes a day just fine, but last month I pushed myself to go to nighttime jazz concert by myself. At first I felt so scared; it’s not as if my Spanish is good.  I got lost on the way and cursed myself for going, but give me live jazz music for a fine evening and you’ll see a smile into the next day! It was worth it.

Dear niece I don’t know what gives you pleasure, what gives you a big smile, but we need to put doses of it in our lives regularly!

It hurt me to read that you felt like a worthless lump. I’ve been there; it’s not good. HATED IT!!

For me exercise, getting out listening to music, travel, and friends, oh, don’t let me forget being an animal advocate is everything.  It’s not what I had, but there is joy in it.  

Please, do something good for yourself today!

xoxo