Alive Needs A Goal

Remember the story of Mark Harmon’s parents? His dad died and later in the day his mom had a heart attack and died; I thought I’d die the day my husband died or within the first few months, but I didn’t.

A stroll through the valley of the shadow of death tore me apart; hard earned healing comes with each trudging step. Does this sound like I’m being melodramatic? F’ing wait ‘til you loose the love of your life, and then tell me about it.

I felt sad for Mark Harmon’s loss, but his mom got to go with her love. To this day I’ve wanted nothing more; who’d think someone would envy the dead woman?

But I’m alive and three years later ready to ask the question; what do I want?

Being a goal setter for years, this isn’t unfamiliar; only this is the first time the answer excited me, since I lost my husband. Everything thing I’ve done since 7/14/13 has been palliative; stop the pain became my imperative, so this time when I thought about it and got excited is huge!!

Before the Great Recession complements of George W. Bush, Kirt and I planned to spend our summers in Europe. Lost my husband, lost my nest egg and a good bit more, but I asked myself the same old question and this year I got the same answer.

I want to experience the parent culture of Latin America; I want to live in Spain for the ninety days I’m allowed. Can you believe it? I’ve wanted to go to Spain since my junior year in high school, when a priest from Spain, who taught my boy friend, hung out with us at the museums on weekends. He told the most wonderful stories; be still my heart.

I have a goal.