In the past two years I’ve
been lazy, lacking motivation or self-discipline. Nothing really matters
anymore, I hated being alive without my husband. When your life implodes, you’re
left a shell, a Gregor, a big roach carcass.
My re-make began with who
the hell cares, why am I bothering and, oh, screw it.
What did I still like? Or
love? Anything? ……..Not a lot…..
In my youth, I went through
an agnostic phase, but it shocked me that I could be so angry with my creator.
God, I was pissed. Life challenged and
punched us, but we made sweet lemonade. God gave me to love, someone, who loved
me.
Why wasn’t I dead? I don’t know,
but I believe God has plans. And since we’ve had a long term relationship, I’ve
been going with the flow, as much as I accepted my loss.
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