Never Give Up

Crafting the best out of a bad situation has been one of my talents. When tossed into a this sucks situation I made my little lists of how to get away from, change or completely turn it around. After the pros and cons of each, the winner waves. It sounds so easy. 

Sometimes staying focused on the solution took more strength than I knew I had. The day my husband crawled into the house on all fours began an odyssey of daily pain for him and oh, my God, what do I do stress for me that lasted twenty-five years.

How he endured the weight-bearing pain in his lumbar spine, I’ll never know. When my arthritis acts up I can go straight to crabby bitch. Pictures of him smiling and laughing show his joy. Condemned to a sedentary life in pain; that’s no easy sentence, but he would be the one to see the woodland flowers blooming under the snow or the first robin of spring.

When a man can no longer work and provide it can sap his spirit; my husband struggled for his. In the Workman’s Compensation case insurance company lawyers referred to him as lazy and looking for a free ride. The tone they took with him made me want to smash their faces. He was down; the system was created to support him, but they whipped him mercilessly for years before he got anything. God help young workers today.

Kirt had always wanted me to stay home; he was old school that way. I liked working and money was a real hit; but ten acres, horses, chickens, cows, and dogs persuaded me to stay home happily.

A few years later, I no longer had a career and he had an accident. I couldn’t leave him at home alone for more than brief periods.

My idyllic life of playing with horses and dogs came to a screeching halt along with Kirt’s paycheck. Holy shit, I didn’t see that one coming. We were so happy; we loved our place next to the woods. My life was so rattled, but I had to be strong; my problems paled in comparison to my husband’s pain.

We sold our treasures, tomatoes, and eggs; the people who trained dogs with me on Monday night offered to pay. My fledgling dog business began. I worked ten years straight without a single day off. My business that began under some harsh circumstances grew to one day employ as many as twenty people, so I can honestly say we made the best our of a bad situation.

As we stood in the gateway of our home for the last time Kirt asked, “Any wishes or regrets?”  I burst into tears,” To do it all over again except your accident!”