Make Friends or Be Alone

If I don’t make the effort, this new life of mine isn't going to start itself. The women I work out with are a likely source of new friends. Don’t be shy, get out there and get to know someone.

She sat in the corner eating a sandwich. “Hi, are you up for some company?” I said with my best friendly smile. She nodded towards the seat. “Wasn't that a good workout this morning?” My enthusiasm for a nice breakfast conversation could barely be contained, as I looked across the table at a trim woman of at most fifty- seven. “Her workouts are never as tough as they should be; she just phones it in, you’ll see. You haven’t been coming long,” she observed in a voice that sounded like New York.

“How long have you lived here?” I asked. She had to move here after getting screwed over by a pharmaceutical company where she worked in Human Resources for thirteen years, explaining in detail the corporate politics and dirty dealings in the management of big pharma. Tight lips pursed, angry eyes flashed during the forty minute diatribe. Somehow, I didn't think we’d be hanging out.

Being lonely as can be, wanting friends to spend time with at least until I get my act together and handle more time alone, I resolved to venture forth to make a new friend at breakfast after my work out again. After our opening hello’s this woman talked about wanting to make money from her photography hobby; didn't I like her pictures? Yes, I did, so pointed out a couple that I found pleasing. Did I want to buy them? She wanted to know. I informed her that I recently lost my husband, so wouldn't be decorating any time soon. To which she launched into an angry spew about the S.O.B. she just divorced. She had to come to Puerto Rico to get away from him. He kept coming to the house, where they had lived together, but it was her house now, but he didn't respect that because he was such a jerk. My husband and I were happy. This isn't the energy I wish to share.

Is this when alone begins to look good? I’m not ready to think about dating, but I've always had men friends, so why shouldn't I have men friends as a widowed woman? Don’t think for a second that I know enough about this culture to say that men and women here aren't or can’t be friends, but I’m just going to say, I’m not encouraged.  

My best buddy, Chi-Ping walked the promenade overlooking the ocean in Arecibo this afternoon, if she just didn't stop to sniff so much, we’d get some exercise.