Life's Questions and Lessons

We think; we wonder why we’re here or why this or that happened in childhood. Every age challenges us to grow or decline. Pain, suffering, joy, and happiness color our lives.

Each unique journey weaves in and out with others creating the cacophony of our cultures. When life becomes too painful some reach for booze or drugs, some become mean, others turn to religion. We all have a personal solution; even helplessness is a way of dealing with harsh reality.

In one of the neighborhoods I lived in as a young adult, “Take it easy” or “Don’t work too hard,” people said frequently. Their mantra reflected how they limited themselves; from the south side of Chicago, many had never even ventured into the Loop.

Being a driven soul, I bristled at this advice; being young I argued for my opinion as a better way not yet realizing what mental masturbation means.

Over the years we’re exposed to an amazing amount of energy that we absorb and reflect or deflect; through personal choice, we create who we are. Looking back on a life, wondering how well it served my soul, I’m kinder about my mistakes than when I was young.

Not judging others, do we find that difficult? Come on, don’t add lying. Whether we find them wonderful or awful, we judge. Superior or inferior, we see ourselves in that linear way or safe versus frightening; we find valid reasons for judgment.

In my twenties, I doubted that God exists. If you created us couldn’t you take better care of your creations? Who are you kidding? You created everything; that means you created evil. That’s no kind of god I could wrap my head around, so one day for no reason there was this big bang.

Many nights under the stars with cold wind on my face put my thoughts in a different order to glimpse how complex life is and that order began with God. The understanding I have gives me respect for all life whether I like them or not.

How we live now creates our heaven or hell, so it’s not a stretch to think we’re creating our future (life) according to the law of karma.

So now I’m wondering, how do I best set myself up for my next existence? If this life could be a bank account of knowledge I could send to myself, what wisdom would I impart? What questions should a soul preparing for life ask?

Wouldn’t it be nice to know how we pick our families? How many misplaced zygotes are there? Why was I one? Or was I?

And thanks for this life; it’ been a trip.

Earth School

Souls come to the Earthly plane to learn. I’ve read that frequently; haven’t you?

“Why am I here?”  She asked at age seven, a tender age for so many encounters yet to come.

Self-control, a practice, a goal became her wish, her lesson; what child does this or don’t we all?

No one had the right to hurt her; beating a small child, that should be prohibited in all holy books. All the hate and evil an Earth person does is inversely proportioned to what they suffered in childhood.

Tag on a tad extra just because and you have hell fire. Little bodies quench parental fires feeling the licks of bonfires, not their doing. Outwardly the child learned control, studied her parents to understand what triggered their volatile behavior.

If you love me, why do you hurt me?

Don’t you love me?

Am I so bad, I deserve this?

No matter what I do you hit me, why can’t I ever get things right?

A child with no hope of being fairly treated learns life through a fractured lens. Teens suffer at best, becoming an adult can be more difficult than learning to walk.

From the pain of creation came hell fire; everything is about quenching hell fire’s pain.

The little girl survived her childhood to search for her place and respect; she has many lessons to learn. We learn them or don’t; life is still ours to mold to perfection or screw up royally.

The little girl’s mother shielded herself from hell fire with her daughter's tiny body; karma comes for her, as will compassion.

A life lesson I’m learning is how intertwined we are. The more time I spend alone, the more I realize how much each encounter I have affects me. People who entered my life for moments star in capsules of compassionate warmth.

Those who suffer and manage to quell the fire to a wonderful learn to be A life lesson I’m learning is how intertwined we are. The more time I spend alone, the more I realize how much each encounter I have affects me. People who entered my life for moments star in capsules of compassionate warmth.

Learn respect, learn to be kind; things improve with that. Haven’t we learned on the Earthly plane cruelty doesn’t douse any flames? Or you could believe life’s a bitch and then you die.

Impossible, Unlikely, Oh, No

Note to army: as long as you guys are out there under Martial Orders you can rape if you want. Or was it more of a get out there and rape somebody memo?

What democratically elected president of a country would say that? Officers may start with my campaign volunteers; they’re young and stupid.

Not many world leaders vie to knock the US President off the big jerk platform, but the leader of the free world butting ahead in line paled in comparison.

Young men murdered defending young women in Oregon; that’s too sad. Tell me this is just another day on planet Earth.

World events, the news reads like fiction. Can we own that something’s not right? Greed and stupidity rise from the swamps like a vapor taking over power and populace simultaneously; welcome to the age of the Atavist.

Republicans may trace back on ancestry.com to Atilla, but I’m beyond the pale unhappy with Democrats; the down the aisle difference of opinion doesn’t cut this schism. Everybody has kicked the can into the gutter. People are pissed.

Bernie is the only politician I trust anymore; in fact, I like the way he thinks, but he’s one person. When the government goes against the population we have tremendous problems, so scary we talk around them.

Lying and pot stirring replaced common sense and caring some time ago. Recent events seem like a return to medieval times with jousting for position and raping and pillaging on deck. A return to the dark ages with technology; what does that look like?

Notes with agendas float past on Facebook, saying dear white friend, I know with a bigotry list attached. Mr. Obama would not have been elected twice without the support of white people; these are the people you react with chiding lists claiming we don’t know how great a president he was. You’re bitch slapping the band. Do you think a single Big T supporter read it?

Smart people don’t kick their dear white friends out from under the covers; I don’t care how pissed about history you may be, you’re too smart to do that, right?

As a longtime Obama mama, the dear white friend post twisted my whiskers. Next, they’ll be telling whites and blacks that we don’t revere Gandhi because we’re not in touch with the Indian experience. Do you see how this goes back up the toilet?

A former Speaker of the House charged with pedophilia, again, while Congress holds a party dismantling protections to the environment and every damn thing they can. Choose black and white or living color, the image of them breaking it off in our behinds remains.

Greed and evil versus everybody else, epic battles dating to forever set the mold for continued battles if we don’t learn; angels, demons, and demigods only fight in the movies anymore. Why not us?

How does the working class grab hold of our government? How do we take charge? Historically a hero rises from the ranks with character; I remember John, Bobby, and Martin. I still cry for their loss. An LBJ about now would be welcome.

Rich people have to actually pay tax for the government to survive as an entity protecting the public good. As a middle-class business owner during the Clinton years, I complained when I wrote the check for my taxes, but ponied up and lived a good life.

Rich people ready to kill for the last quarter greedy doesn’t make sense any more than elected officials body slamming people to the floor.

Are they alien? Is something in the water? I have my own reasons for believing beings from elsewhere are here.

Things happen that people sitting on corners see, that if ever they got together Earth would learn something, but we all know it’s never going to happen.

Ancient family owned banks running roughly over unfortunate people would have more empathy run by humans. Educated Earth men know that the best agreements are the win-win model; win-lose always ends in a rematch.

I believe that people are better than this; that after so much fighting we put our fists down and make peace, so we can get on with life. Always, we made things work.

Who but an alien not depending on our atmosphere wouldn’t mind destroying the environment? All the Earth kiddies turn green and die and you don’t mind; what?

Take a Look

Old age, the new frontier of my life, I didn’t believe I’d live this long. With this coming birthday there is no politely thinking of myself as older, but somehow still hip or cool; I’m an old lady.

Goodbye days of admiring glances as I walk past; hello, nobody notices. I’m just another granny weaving my way through the crowd.

My brief escape to Condado and beyond gave me another glimpse into life alone and on the go. In this part of the story, I dined on the beach, straining to hear snatches of conversation, but couldn’t.

A repeating loud, phony laugh regularly caught my attention. Bitterness dripped from the edges of each ha-hah-hah and each time three. I heard the call for help from the next table, a family gathering of a man and a woman with offspring’s young families all dressed to the teeth, a fine legacy to be sure.

The family, the picture of success made me doubt the hollow laugh could come from there. I searched the water for cruise ship lights. Ha-hah-hah, there it came again a plaintive howl.

Affluent young locals laughed near the bar, while families or couples chatted at tables, some body language better than others; I saw no one who went with the lonely laugh.

Caught in mid-laugh, I saw from a wide open mouth, dry sound ejected; only the corners of his eyes confirmed the sadness, the remainder of his countenance radiated pride.

I sent a flicker of light in his direction as I wished to God for more nights with my honey.

A nearby couple caught my eye, you know the ones so into themselves that any contact invading their energy, they suffer. The waiter after receiving the order from the man in his fifties, who immediately turned his full attention to his lady, seemed stunned to be so completely shut out, so quickly; it was fun to see.

In restaurants, we commonly see people’s energy entwine creating a cocoon or you see the ones glancing about the room hoping for someone to relate to other than present company. I have never seen a couple create an energy vortex that looked like a black in a restaurant before; have you?

Soft light, club jazz, the hum of conversation, I scan the scene for clothes I like; a beautiful dress or a well-draped man demands notice. Simple outfits, the woman in black pants and an olive loose knit sweater and the equally lean man in shades of khaki, attracted my attention about two o’clock in my sight line.

The calamari melted on my tongue, the party of one at my table blissed out; I hate it when older people grunt when the food is good, but I’m afraid I may have.

I glanced at two o’clock which went dark, like black hole dark in a circle just big enough for them. This disconcerted me, but another piece of calamari calmed me down. The waiter walked past their table with the order; no energy called to him.

I trained in some soft tissue energy methods, which is why I can sometimes see or feel the energy. That’s pretty weird at first, for a long time I thought it had bullshit written all over it, and then, I felt it.

I’m not some crazy old lady telling you that these were aliens; no human couple I know could pull the light in around themselves achieving that level of privacy in public.

Believe me, I don’t want to be telling you that folks from far-far-away dined with me on Saturday, but unless technology exists to build personal walls what else could it be?

Am I crazy? This question surfaces now and again, but I don’t believe so; in less than a decade I lost my husband, business, nest egg, best friends, and now I’m an old lady. It wouldn’t be an understatement to say I’ve been through a lot, but healing.

Regular exercise and frequent travel feel positive; I mean I’m still fat and sad, but not as much. That’s way better than I felt before and I have hopes and goals again, so I believe in my mental health. Of course, side effects can be a bitch, so judge for yourself.

What seems nuts to me is taking away the needs of the poor for the wants of the rich.  How many human beings can look at another who hasn’t harmed you and say, die? People who become rich frequently give back; it’s the human thing to do.

Without someone to stir the pot I find people to be kind. Is it crazy to question those with the unfair advantage, who treat us as the next old tail they want to eat? Or is greed just another substance abuse?

With a short life expectancy enjoying my day became personal. Working people paid into the Social Security Fund, which is one of our best benefits for this time of life.

Am I crazy to believe that the aberrant elite controlling our planet aren’t like the rest of us because they’re not from here? It’s easier to believe I’m bat shit bonkers than that aliens have quietly invaded us. What do we do?

I mean, if they’re in a position of absolute power and they don’t like us, we’re screwed. We need to know who we’re dealing with before we don’t like the terms of engagement.

We should have evolved beyond oppressed masses and pagan parties at the top. Greed beyond the boundaries of satisfaction is not healthy or normal, like schoolboys running through a store grabbing. That’s the same shit that got us in trouble around 2008; we’re falling for it again. Doesn’t that seem too stupid to be real?

When times are good as they are now for the rich, people have fun, maybe, do something good for the community; who continues to plunder with full coffers? I’m not saying all greedy bastards are aliens, but something’s not right.

    

How About It

When things don’t make sense, when behavior seems too insane to contemplate, we must look outside the box. I know you don’t want to hear this on a day elected officials run amok in the halls of Congress, a school teacher rips off the head scarf of an eight -year-old student, a vacationing family is assaulted on the beach in front of their hotel by a man beating his chest like an ape shouting the Trump will stop this, or a woman shooting a man in the act of raping an animal. Yeah, I see where the last one could be tempting, but, honestly, a miss would have scared the stuffing out of him.

Tell me your life has gone to hell since the Great Recession, well, my world fell apart during that time when bankers bad behavior caught up with the rest of us.Normal creatures lick their wounds and move on; it’s hard as hell, I know. I lost my business, my investment, my lifestyle, and then, my husband died. I know what hair-on-fire feels like and pissed off runs around in the outfield.

Politicians photographed with gleeful, let’s stick it to them expressions doing harm to us; I mean, are they photo-shopped? Why do one thing after another against our interests, even when ultimately they hurt their own families? I lived in a Republican county; Denny Hastert lived down the road. I get Republicans; on many issues, I see their point. This is double bubble, toil, and trouble in green and with warts.

Soon I’ll be sixty-nine, almost ancient, but I feel like I did in the sixties when my friends died in Vietnam. Negative energy abounds and I struggle. But, older and, yes, wiser, I see the cauldron being stirred.

Life isn’t as good; I live on a pittance. In my neighborhood that’s a chronic condition, but we spend our days trying to make the best of it. Being kind or at least nice keeps meet-ups friendly or cordial. You’ve heard the expression: poor, but happy; let me introduce myself.

Before you conclude that I’m down on Republicans, let me tell you that a lifelong Democrat has quit. I’m not happy with them either. Baffle them with bullshit if you can’t impress them with brilliance somewhere down the line became both parties motto.

Why would we elect representatives toxic to us? Our representatives are neighbors; do your neighbors treat you like idiots? Sell off your kids playgrounds? Pay to play mentality benefits the rich and powerful; no doubt, but is it in our DNA or God’s plan that man upon becoming rich and powerful turns into Ivan, the terrible.

When you ruin Earth, what will you do? Hop a rocket to Mars? The rich and powerful, the all powerful Os knows even better than we do that aliens have been here. Even aliens have accidents; other than those, we are hardly aware of the signs that they’re here.

Children of Earth don’t become children of the stars while we’re busy behaving like Neanderthals. I’ve read the writings of the brilliant and hung out with the most humble. I’ve known crazy and seen evil and I truly believe someone is stirring the pot.

An ecosystem doesn’t purge itself, a forest doesn’t naturally burn unless it becomes unhealthy. There’s a natural point at which the snake stops chewing its behind or death ensues.

The rich and powerful exploit Earth like they have a getaway vehicle or they’ve lost control of their headsets.

How many ways could we be manipulated? Think about it. Fifty years ago we were in a race into space; what happened to that?

A new frontier would benefit this generation just as opening American did for our ancestors, but here we are wanting to dig more coal. What’s wrong with this picture?

Crazy Run Rampant

Batshit crazy evil happening right now; how can we not see that we’re being manipulated? We’re better than this, this is not us. 

An old lady, just my age, hobbled into her neighbor’s party shortly after hip surgery. She asked him to turn down the music and he responded by knocking her down.

That’s bad, but not batshit bad; that’s coming. I mean this sixteen-year-old boy grabbed her by her poor, old arthritic leg, drug her, and threw her in a pool, oh, and her dog, in front of guests. Blood tests and toxicology should be done on him and not just for drugs;  this isn’t normal.

Of course, crazy happens in the best of families, but don’t you think crazy runs a little rampant lately?

On the same day a young woman, a nineteen-year-old wakes up, dresses for the funeral of her boyfriend’s mom. This young woman and her mother walk with the boyfriend towards his mom’s funeral, but before they get there she shoots her own mother; are we desensitized to the bizarre? Is it really just another day in America?

Scientists preach evolution, but the war on mankind today seems little different than the war that introduced us to the dark ages. Shouldn’t we have evolved beyond spontaneous outbursts of hate and anger? We have our assholes but come on, we’re better than this.

I hate to be the nut job telling you that aliens hide among us and manipulate the shit out of us, but there it is folks.

We don’t handle aliens, people from elsewhere, people from our own planet moving in our neighborhood, changing how things are done where we live; imagine advanced beings, the ones depicted in ancient hieroglyphs still watching and influencing life on Earth.

If extraterrestrials wanted to prevent us from exploring outer space, wouldn’t the best way be to keep us busy with bullshit here?

Everybody understands the competitive nature of evolution; don’t we all want to be at the top of the food chain? Living in the closed environment of Earth doesn’t God demand we learn to get along or love one another? Either way, we examine it; we’re better than what’s happening now. Aren’t we?

Why do we rush to mutually assured destruction?  That’s too bat shit crazy for me to believe we’d do without manipulation. Does this make any sense?  

What If

Can you be alone? They say it’s a test of one’s maturity. In the case of humans by mature do we just mean overripe?

During my forty-five year marriage, I found myself wanting to be alone at times, but never desired it as a chronic condition.

Lovely people live in my life for whom I feel varying degrees of connectedness. Only a few ever make it to the inner circle of trust status. I mean how many people do you meet whose company you enjoy enough to want to repeat the experience? Very sweet people don’t always have enough in common with me for the encounter to be more than a pleasant blip on my day. God bless them all.

Can people go mad living alone? Does spending too much time encourage eccentric behavior? We all have some things in common, but then our proclivities jump into hyperspace in a million directions. If we don’t have a companion to bounce things off, does the mind gallop far off in search of feedback?

Without that inner circle family of closeness, the strength of your center battles for survival until tempered or you go crazy, which is a scientific term for can’t handle it.

I see signs that cause me to believe aliens are influencing life on this planet. It makes me feel like I’ve gone electric boogaloo, but when I’m alone in public I see people focused on each other.

That seems right, huh? Moms and dads observe and react to active offspring, lovers coo, and cuddle or huff and fume; it’s all fun to watch, but I’m apart enough to notice what goes on in the space between people. Sometimes it looks like pixie dust; isn’t that nuts? Other times I see what looks like heat waves. Yeah, I know what visual effects go with low blood sugar; this isn’t that.

At my age all of this could be neurological, but what if it's not? Most of us believe that we’re not the only life in the universe. I mean, what if we just haven’t recognized their tracks in the snow or in the sky?

Wouldn’t an advanced race have improved stealthy observation and maybe travel to our planet over time? Could the gods that watched Rome be observing us in super stealth mode?

Being alone shifted my perception to the spaces in between us; there I see the anomalies or maybe I having a mini-stroke. If I’m being honest I have to own that possibility.

Rather than hang out with my mouth open, I look for effect. What’s different? Call me crazy, but people seemed more hostile. Sometimes I’ve felt it myself, suddenly I felt agitated, like don’t piss me off bitch. Without a nearby bitch, I thought low blood sugar; I’ve been there. When dark chocolate doesn’t help you’ve got to wonder, que pasa.

These little blips happen so fast like little tectonic shifts in the tropics frequently go unnoticed.

And then, maybe, my brain has ripened into mush; quien sabe?

Please Be Warned

People are basically good; we can be whipped into a frenzy and led to destruction but left to our own devices I find human beings to be decent and frequently kind. It’s in our nature.  

Have you ever had something nag on your mind? Your mind drifts back to an event you wish would stop, but there you go thinking about it again. You laugh out loud, which I understand to be a jail-able offense these days thanks to Mr. Sessions; but there you go with that laugh. Suddenly you feel embarrassed to have had the thought. It’s so out there, but the shimmering and displaced feelings; either you’re losing your mind or an alien energy has invaded. 

What began as a vague haunting what if takes the shape of what the  F--- and I just want to run, to hide and be safe. 

What is it they say about “All it takes is for good people to look the  other way?” 

I’m scared. This isn’t the normal energy of the planet. This is bad,  Folks. At least it’s bad for us. 

Holistic Healers on the planet know we’re in a bad energy vortex. Who wants to give this a name we can fight? Mother Earth didn’t birth this energy. 

Human beings will fight to the death over a whole bunch of things, but most of us also manage compassion. Don’t you find it odd that people we’ve  elected to serve us do everything possible to hurt us or the environment?  Surely, we’ve elected an asshole or two over the years, but a whole room full of them says something’s not right. 

What if when powerful leaders congregated, say like the inaugural in  January aliens opened a portal over the event releasing a neurotoxin that reduced empathy to one’s own species? 

Removing laws protecting the environment harms their children also. What evolved species? What did Christ teach? Buddha? Who shits in their beds?!

Picture poor people around the world living modest lives, hoping for a decent day. They travel on scooters searching for scrap discarded on the side of the road. They walk holding children’s hands. Their malls open when crafts get hung from a rope slung between two trees. 

I’ve traveled alone in a car across a modest Caribbean island getting well lost in the process. People were kind and they helped me. One man’s hand an inch above my purse as he leaned in to inspect my belongings, but he stopped traffic to get me in the right direction. He was an angel. The goodness of mankind’s nature touches me often. I’m not saying there aren’t assholes among us; we all know better. 

A percentage of humanity who have no empathy are generally the outsiders and not the community core. 

I saw the shimmering, what apparently happened I believe to be a dispensing of the toxin on inauguration day. 

I never thought I’d say this, but Republicans are right, global warming is a result of aliens dumping toxins on us through worm holes and not the stupid shit we do here.