Men And

Much of what I’ve read lately involves sexism, objectifying women, referring to them as a pussy to be grabbed, and other rotten garbage. At the horrible end of the spectrum, I saw a video of two men whipping a woman with sticks and a story about a nine-year-old girl be married to an old man. Do you imagine she dreamt about him for years before being allowed to wed?
There is a hierarchy, a pecking order that begins because this is mine; it’s the best food or place to sleep for the alpha male. We find this in nature so the handiwork of creation absolves men due to intrinsic ignorance. At the core, God has to have the nature of both sexes, but reproduction, women must have been an afterthought; how else can you explain cramps and monthly menstruation? Surely childbirth could have been better engineered. 
In the beginning, nature favored men with bigger and stronger; with few exceptions, men lead and women follow. Male privilege, ingrained throughout evolution is part of all of our exchanges. We are only women and as evangelical preachers extol, “Women should do as their husbands say!”
Pride and power lead to greed where women contribute a fair share. We’re reaching a point on the planet where bigger and stronger is controlled by smarter; I pray that wiser comes along for the ride.
With the current pecking order, the old crones have less value than ever. The knowledge of a lifetime no longer includes remedies or midwifery; what value does society place on older women?
Bigger and stronger have better is the basis of the male pecking order, but we all know females have a different hierarchy, and only at the top do females have any power. Scientists write papers about this in other species.
A man respects a woman as much as his ego allows him to respect anyone. Some men are so comfortable in their skin that being in their presence enhances a woman’s self-esteem; my husband was one of those guys. I’ve been blessed.
Men hit women because they’re scared that bigger and stronger doesn’t always beat cut throat and women have learned to excel or they’re just assholes.
The recent presidential election demonstrated a powerful man behaving badly, as if he answered to no one, acting out before men yearning for the power to at least be disrespectful to those they believe to be less than themselves. The chant, “Lock her up,” chilled me to my core.    
 I rode on the shoulders of suffragettes who marched and died for women's’ right to vote in America. We marched for equality and parity of pay; later young women called us feminists as if that were a bad thing and said they wouldn’t join us. Young women may think that because their pussy is being grabbed they have power.
An average sixty-eight-year-old woman is likely to have a stream of men push in front of her at the airport; I’ve been knocked down by a man hardly aware I was there. Most men when you point out their trespass become gracious however reluctantly.
As an older woman I’m venerable and vulnerable, it took a long time to make me with the best part being I have time to focus on discoveries to bring joy to my life. My value is in having been created by God.
Why some men are miserable to women is a problem for wiser minds; I pray God to keep me safe from them. 
Women seem to be the ones noticing the anomalies; maybe we’re better observers or we’re not perceived as a threat. I haven’t been able to get a man to admit noticing anything. Are you surprised?
As long as my Google is being jammed, I need to be careful. Be watchful, look for a shimmering and enjoy your day.

Sexism, Company Policy, or Lone Jerk

How do you handle it, when you buy new tires, you tell the counterman to put the news ones on the front and move the front tires to the rear, and they put your new tires on the rear?

I went back in the store. Mistakes happen, it would take no more than twenty minutes to rotate the tires. I told the counterman the tires should have been put on the front as per the work order in my hand.

Instead of an apology or we’ll take care of it for you, guess what he said. No, not you’ll have to come back tomorrow. I could have lived with that answer. This disrespectful old son looked me in the eye and said,

“It is company policy at Name Brand Auto Parts to put new tires on the rear.”

I point to the work order instructing them to put the front tires on the rear and the new tires on the front.

“I want my new tires on the front.”

He says, “Company policy.”

He walked away, dismissing me.

End of subject, you got the tires on the rear and that’s it; like it or not.

In the forty plus years I've shopped tires for my husband, a truck driver with four million accident free miles to his credit, I've never heard such crap. If you say put these tires I’m buying on the front; they go on the front.

The counterman even tried to justify putting the ones on the rear because the front wears them out more.

I looked at him incredulously; that’s why you want your new tires on the front. That he would attempt to promote this mistake by suggesting putting the new ones on the back would save them, made my jaw drop.

Hello, I buy better grade tires for my safety. My husband taught me to ALWAYS put the new rubber in the front. This isn't my first pit stop.

What could Name Brand Auto, what would they be thinking to have such a policy?

This is so ridiculous; I knew he was lying as it belched out of his mouth. How much closer can a vendor come to saying, FUCK YOU?

And, I didn't get my tires where they need to be. So into my busy day is another visit to the auto parts store, to get what I paid for.

I am annoyed, inconvenienced, insulted beyond measure; and I wonder, if this is one jerk or a corporate culture of not respecting their women customers.

What do you think? I’ll let you know after I meet the manager.

Sexist or Defensive or What?

I’m mystified by the exchange that went on in my car on Friday night.

I was taking two friends to an ocean front, open air little place for what is some of the tastiest octopus in a pie shell on the island.

At the red light I got into the left lane. Sometimes this lane gets blocked up with people making a left into Home Depot, but this wasn’t the case at the moment. Just up the hill on the right is the entrance to the toll road to San Juan, so sometimes the two right lanes get blocked with people going from the left lane cutting across to hit the entrance to the city.

As the light turns green my male passenger says,

“You should always get in the middle lane. The reason I’m telling you this is that you can get blocked by cars making a left.”

Of the six cars ahead of me at the light, the first two took off like bats out of hell, three pulled into the promising middle lane, and one pulled into the left turn lane. I had a clear lane; unless I took flight to catch cars one and two. I smiled pleased with being three cars ahead of where I would have been in the middle lane.

Frankly, I thought my driving skills should be receiving compliments, if anything.

“No, you should get into that middle lane. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

He said in a just too patient tone. Up till that I’d been ignoring him because I focused on driving.

“Why are you saying this?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

He replied, “You should have gotten in the middle lane back there. Why are you so defensive? You’re being defensive.”

My female friend provided the “Amen” chorus, “Yes, she’s being defensive.”

“I can’t figure out why you’re telling me this; what prompted you to say anything? How could I have improved that outcome?”

This I asked without a feeling of being defensive because it surprised me that he was saying anything. I was pleased with the outcome. When you can tell me how I can make things better, I’ll listen. It didn’t make sense to me to get in the middle lane when I see it won’t improve my outcome.

My adorable little female friend took up the chant,

“You’re right; she’s being defensive!”

This was as much of this crap as I wanted to deal with, so I said,

“How about we change the subject; or I pull over to the curb to let my unhappy passengers out?”

The silence didn’t last. We’re much too jolly for that. What bothered me was that I’d improved our position in line more than I could have by being in the middle lane, yet I’m listening to people tell me how to drive. No, it was a man telling me how to drive and a woman agreeing with him.

My husband, who was a king of the road with two million safe miles to his credit, taught me how to drive. I read the road and make my decisions. Without a problem or a reason, I don’t see why I should change; do you? Am I wrong?

Does anybody see this as sexist? Do you ever hear one man telling another how to drive?

Hey, man, you should always use the middle lane!

Reply,

You want to f’ing drive?

The only way that conversation would go differently is if the driver worked for the passenger, or father to son. It would be a hierarchal situation in which the passenger was dominant to the driver.

Don’t get me started on my little friend, who thought she was going to enjoy seeing me squirm.