I visit friends, help out with causes, talk to
everybody in my contact list and loneliness is my closest companion. None of
this really hard trying makes a difference. You’re not here.
I don’t know where I belong or even
who I am. Would it be a sin to give up on my life, to die? People seem to like me, but
I am all alone. How do I do this alone shit? It’s so painful.
A journey of self discovery is in
order, but how, where? We should be sitting in rockers on our porch overlooking
the lake and smiling. You were so easy to be with my honey; how can I go on
without you? I loved my life with you. The world is still beautiful in the
morning, the stars still shine at night; the difference is me. I’m not the same
without you.
The people I think should love me
most tell me I’m strong; I’ll be fine, essentially buck up and get on with
life. I was so in love with our life together. This has far less meaning. What does
God want me to do? Send me a memo in one or two syllable words. I hurt; I’m not
getting this.
Every day you kissed me and told me
you love me. I miss that the most. I love you. Nothing comes close to what I
lost when you left me.
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