Friday, December 6, 2013

My Darling,


 I visit friends, help out with causes, talk to everybody in my contact list and loneliness is my closest companion. None of this really hard trying makes a difference. You’re not here.
I don’t know where I belong or even who I am. Would it be a sin to give up on my life, to die? People seem to like me, but I am all alone. How do I do this alone shit? It’s so painful.
A journey of self discovery is in order, but how, where? We should be sitting in rockers on our porch overlooking the lake and smiling. You were so easy to be with my honey; how can I go on without you? I loved my life with you. The world is still beautiful in the morning, the stars still shine at night; the difference is me. I’m not the same without you.
The people I think should love me most tell me I’m strong; I’ll be fine, essentially buck up and get on with life. I was so in love with our life together. This has far less meaning. What does God want me to do? Send me a memo in one or two syllable words. I hurt; I’m not getting this.

Every day you kissed me and told me you love me. I miss that the most. I love you. Nothing comes close to what I lost when you left me. 

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